Crab Nebula.jpg
NGC 3324.jpg
Crab Nebula.jpg



for the future . . .




for the future . . .

If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm.
— Frank Lane
NGC 3324.jpg

Weather or Not?

Weather or Not?

Forecast: Scattered BraneFreeze

Weather or Not?

Weather or Not?

Forecast: Scattered BraneFreeze






Analysis paralysis, writer's block . . . and uh . . . what's the third one? . . . I can't . . . sorry . . .








Most epic gnarlyness imaginable.

Huh, huh. These are BraneWaves, bruh. Lose the board and use your noodle instead.

I think, therefore I am . . . I think.
— George Carlin

Surf's Up!

Surf's Up!

That's a good sine

Surf's Up!

Surf's Up!

That's a good sine

The Cymbals of Love

 WORK IN PROGRESS | ANIMATED Short (to medium) Film | Various Artists

Drums and a dream and a heavenly scheme


Attention all drummers (guitarists too!)

How would you like to see a movie starring John Bonham and Keith Moon as guardian angels dispatched from Heaven by the "Drum God" Buddy Rich himself?

You would?

I knew it!

Me too!

And that's why I wrote the script for it.

Join Bonzo and Moonie, and an inspiring cast of everyone's favorite drum heroes on their quest to fulfill a youngster's drumming destiny.



© Bobby's Brane for script, title logo, and illustrations | illustrations by Kelly Moriarity

Music soundtrack can be provided upon request



script by

Bobby's Brane

A colorful butterfly flutters into a colorless scene moments before an old tractor passes overhead.FADE IN:  EXT. FARM - DAY 
A colorful butterfly flutters into a colorless scene moments before an old tractor passes overhead.

'Get Rhythm' edit

Johnny Cash

Hey get rhythm when you get the blues Come on get rhythm when you get the blues Get a rock n' roll feelin' in your bones Put taps on your toes and get gone Get rhythm when you get the blues
VERNON, a struggling midwestern farmer, makes his way menacingly across the field. The tractor's radiator fan eventually overwhelms the delicate insect, ejecting colorful confetti with an audible B-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-T!
A little shoeshine boy he never get slowed down But he's got the dirtiest job in town Bendin' low at the people's feet On a windy corner of a dirty street When I ask him while he shines my shoes How'd he keep from getting' the blues He grinned as he raised his little head He popped his shoeshine rag and then he said
Get rhythm when you get the blues Come on get rhythm when you get the blues A jumpy rhythm makes you feel so fine it'll shake all your troubles from your worried mind Get rhythm when you get the blues
Vernon steers past an old and damaged pitchfork leaning against the barn.  FADE TO:  INT. FARMHOUSE KITCHEN - DAY 
The kitchen radio is revealed to be the music source. Vernon's wife OPHIE dances about while tidying up. Baby JUNIOR patters away on pots and pans arrayed around him.
Get rhythm when you get the blues Come on get rhythm when you get the blues It only costs a dime just a nickel a shoe It does a million dollars worth of good for you Get rhythm when you get the blues
(song ends)  Ophie switches off the radio then reaches for a pair of wooden mixing spoons. 
OPHIE Are you Mama's little drummer boy? Yes you are! Here you go. Why don't you try it now with these. Okay, you just enjoy your little self. Mama's gonna be right back! 
She exits the kitchen, giving her boy a chance to experiment freely. Tapping here and there he makes his way awkwardly around the assorted cookware.
After turning in a sad performance of fits and starts and fumbled spoons, his frustration mounts with every setback.
With an epic meltdown pending, something catches the boy's attention. In between sniffles Junior detects a deep and muffled rhythmic pattern emanating from the radio.

'Hot For Teacher' intro and edit

Van Halen | Alex Van Halen

The pattern builds in volume and repeats, building and repeating, over and over.
The radio morphs into a stack of speakers! The stack morphs into a mountain! The scene explodes and ALEX VAN HALEN emerges from the debris!
At the song's intro break Alex unveils a pair of wooden mixing spoons, flipping them to reveal butt ends ablaze.
He launches back into the song.
(the song ends with everything reverse-morphing back into the radio)
Revelation! Junior inverts the spoons, fixes his grip, and can immediately tell a difference. That's it!
He readies himself and takes a deep breath before launching into a spirited pots and pans solo.
After concluding with a flourish, he twirls a spoon and flings it skyward. It falls back to earth, landing at his parents' feet.
JUNIOR Boom, boom!  OPHIE Oh, Vernon! Can you believe it?  VERNON Mmm, mmm. I sure hope he doesn't think...he's gonna become one of those.  OPHIE One of those whats, exactly? 
VERNON You know exactly what I'm talking about.  OPHIE Well, I don't think he needs to become anything at all. It's obvious to me he's a natural born dru...
VERNON Don't!...even say the word, Ophie. You'll give the boy ideas. Now look, I'm serious as a cyclone about this. All that bangin' around nonsense has got to end. Right this instant. 
Vernon reaches down and yanks the remaining spoon from Junior's grasp and picks up the other one from the floor. The boy wails as Vernon waves the spoons at Ophie.
VERNON And that...will be the end of that.
OPHIE Uh uh, Vernon. You saw what just happened. He's got talent, that boy does!
VERNON Now Ophie. That's the last I want to hear of it. The world has got more than enough starving musicians. We're not about to add another one to the list.
OPHIE I can't believe this! He ain't even two yet, and you already got him beggin' for handouts like some kind of hobo...or gypsy!
VERNON Don't be so dang dramatic. I'm only being realistic. 
OPHIE Oh, please! I don't think I've ever seen him so happy before. (Junior wails even louder) Well, not right now, obviously. But he was, just a minute ago. Right up until to the moment you ruined it for him, he was the happiest baby I think I ever saw. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he made something like this his...his...his dream!
VERNON His what? Seriously? Let me tell you something, darling. This crazy notion about 'having a dream' ain't a real thing. Dreams only happen when you got your eyes closed, you understand? Once you open 'em back up again...honey dream-time is over! 
OPHIE But, Vernon...
VERNON But, nothing! That boy needs to learn about the harsh realities of life as soon as possible. And that means right now! Okay?! And so lesson number one is... (sarcastically) Umm, how 'bout you givin' me a little drum roll for this.
OPHIE Vernon!
VERNON Never mind that. Here payin' attention boy? (clears throat) Got it? Good. Now leave them dreams inside fairy tales where they belong. I got work to do.
Vernon hurls the spoons into the sink on his way out of the kitchen. The back door slams.
Ophie turns and looks down at Junior.
OPHIE Oh, don't cry darling. Mama's here. Everything's gonna be all right.
She fetches the spoons from the sink.
OPHIE Here you go. You just follow your little heart now and forget about all that fussin', okay. If you want to bang around on old pots and pans, well, you just go right on ahead and do it, I say. Now go on and play your mama a pretty song.
JOHN "BONZO" BONHAM floats serenely about, strumming on a harp.

'Bron-Yr-Aur' edit

Led Zeppelin

Bonzo drifts down to the Pearly gates where KEITH "MOONIE" MOON awaits.  (song ends)
MOONIE Wwwoooww! That's fantastic mate.
BONZO (startled) Oh, 'Ello Moonie! Didn't see you there. You really think it sounds okay?
MOONIE Oh, yeahhhh!
BONZO Yeah? Well, I gotta tell ya', I've been practicing my wings off.
MOONIE (mock pride, wiping his eyes) Uh, huh. And now look at you. My boy, my boy. I think I'm gonna cry.
BONZO Knock it off. This was your idea, you know, for us to learn how to play these goofy things. Which begs the question: How's your new vocation coming along?
MOONIE My what? Hey, wait a minute! There's no vacations in Heaven!
BONZO Not vacation you numbskull - vocation! You know. It's like...uh...a hobby. How's it going for you?
MOONIE (holding up harp) Oh, you mean this? Oh, Lordie! Don't ask. I really stink.
BONZO Heh, heh, heh...
MOONIE No, I mean it, Bon Bon. Thpppppppp. The pits, mate.
BONZO Nooohhhh!
MOONIE Yeahhhhh!
They share a laugh as Moonie strums an out-of-tune chord. In the background, big band drumming begins.
BONZO Whoa. There's the bossman now. I bet you got his call too?
MOONIE I did. And jeez was he bossier than usual. He starts off the conversation by yelling at me for a bit. And then he says, "Oh, and about tomorrow? Get your keisters here by 9!" 
BONZO Heh, heh, heh. That's a pretty good impression you got there. Maybe that should be your new vocation.
Bonzo looks down at the time.
BONZO Uh, oh. It's now 9 AM...flat. We better get movin'.
Bonzo reaches for the intercom, and instantly, the background drumming stops.
BUDDY (THE DRUM GOD) RICH (over the intercom) You're late!
MOONIE See what I mean?
BONZO Yeah, you weren't kidding.
BUDDY Well...What are you two dummies waiting for? Get in here!
The intercom buzzes, and the gates open. Bonzo and Moonie enter. The gates slam shut. 
Bonzo and Moonie enter with halos in hand and approach BUDDY seated behind his "desk".
BUDDY Please. Have a seat, boys.
Buddy claps twice and two drum thrones pop up from the cloud. Bonzo and Moonie sit. Buddy smiles, then spots one of the harps.
BUDDY What the devil is that?
MOONIE What's what, boss?
BUDDY That. And that! Are those guitars?
BONZO Mmmm...not really.
BUDDY Close enough! Get rid of 'em!
MOONIE Aw jeez boss. It's no big deal. We swear!
BUDDY No big deal? And swearing too!
Buddy stands up and claps twice, sending his drums down through the cloud followed by DISTANT CRASHING.
BUDDY Haven't I taught you knuckleheads anything up here? Don't you remember anything I've told you?
BUDDY (clears throat) We, members of the rhythmic community, comprise the foundation that supports the entire musical edifice. Now granted, guitar players get most of the credit (and most of the dames for that matter.) But even they know who to truly thank (though they'd never admit it.) We must rejoice in our collective anonynomini...ahh, forget it. Where was I...oh,, we must remain satisfied with the tacit understanding of our indispensability. We...
BONZO Yeah, we already know those things, boss.
BUDDY Do ya' now, John Boy?
BUDDY (seizes the harps) Somebody oughta outlaw these things!
Buddy tosses them off the cloud.
BONZO and MOONIE Heeeeey!
BUDDY (clapping hands) Now that that's been taken care of, let's get down to business. Let's see...where do I begin...ah yes: Your next assignment.
The angels' faces drop.
BUDDY Why so glum fellas? Did I neglect to mention that your next assignment will also be...your last one?
BONZO Come on, boss. You can't be serious? Our last assignment? Forever?
MOONIE And ever?
BUDDY (smiling) Amen.
BONZO You're kidding, right?
BUDDY I wish I were gentlemen. Nope. You've almost made it, and if you manage to pull this off, you're golden. Of course, that depends upon your ability to actually accomplish this one simple task - with no screw ups! If you two can manage to do that, you'll have finally earned...
Buddy retrieves and flashes two solid gold wing pendants.
BUDDY ...your wing pins.
BONZO and MOONIE Ohhhhhh! Yessss! Yes!
Bonzo and Moonie exchange fake punches and high-fives.
BUDDY Okay, okay. Settle down. Now. Listen up. Here are the basics: There's a kid down there who's lost his way and needs a little help finding it again. It turns out that what he needs is just the kind of thing we specialize in. Now, make yourselves comfortable. I want you to watch a little presentation that should make the issue at hand crystal clear. Afterward, feel free to ask any, uh...intelligent questions.
Buddy claps twice and a projector and screen pop up from the cloud.
MOONIE Oooo, a movie! I just love movies! Can we make popcorn?
BUDDY Shut up! And pay attention!
Buddy claps twice again. The sky turns dark and threatening, and the projector clacks to life...

'It's Gonna Get Better'

Genesis | Phil Collins

1-16 Closeup.jpg
Reach out, hands in the air, don't care
Just what they're saying
Hold out, just keep on hoping against hope It's gonna get better
Don't worry, there's no hurry for you For me everything's gonna come around Shout out, someone will listen to you, to me
Someone's gonna see
He calls me over, calls me brother and I know... SNARE CRACK!
Always fighting and moonlighting, it never ends... SNARE CRACK!
In the city, if you're all alone
There's a sister and she's standing next to her man... SNARE CRACK!
In the darkness you feel the sharpness of steel
And it's always there... SNARE CRACK!
In the city, if you're all alone
Reach out, hands in the air, don't care just what they're saying
Hold out, just keep on hoping against hope It's gonna get better Don't worry, there's no hurry for you For me everything's gonna come around
11-2 Closer.jpg
Shout out, someone will listen to you, to me Someone's gonna see
If it's gonna get better, it starts with a feeling If it's gonna get better, it's gonna take time If it's gonna get better, we've gotta start now
Cause I know everybody can feel it And I know everybody will see it Cause it shows, and that shows I'm not dreaming
Cause you know, I know, it's time for a change
(song ends)
The movie finishes and the sky brightens.
BUDDY Well, whataya think gentlemen?
BONZO I think I'm gonna kill that old bugger.
MOONIE Yeah, he's dead.
BUDDY Settle down. Nobody's dying. Well, not yet at any rate.
Buddy claps twice and the projector and screen fall back thru the clouds, following by DISTANT CRASHING.
BUDDY You see fellas, nothing makes me happier than watching a youngster discover his percussive potential. That kid has got it, in spades. Now, I don't know who on Earth authorized the use of my likeness, but you gotta admit...that's one handsome drum kit he's wishing for. But, as you can see, there's a minor obstacle in the way: The old fart in overalls.
MOONIE Heh, heh, let me guess, boss. You want us to 'persuade' dear old dad to have a change of heart, right?
BONZO Sure, boss. Accidents happen all the time on farms: People fall out of barns and bust their kneecaps. Arms get caught in threshers.
Moonie nods enthusiastically.
BUDDY No...Nooo! Do you see this? (halo) Do you see these? (wings) You can't do that anymore! You're representing something bigger than yourselves now. Look, don't screw this up! I want this situation rectified, and as long as you don't coerce, blackmail, intimidate, or violate dad...Mr.'re free to use whatever means at your disposal. This is important! That kid has found his voice, and it's the beat of a familiar drummer. And right now he needs a guardian angel, sooo...I'm gonna give him two for the price of one. Do we have an understanding?
MOONIE (saluting Benny Hill-style) Aye, aye, captain!
BONZO (piratesque) Arrrrrrgh! 
BUDDY (deadpan) Okay, here's the dossier containing all the boring details. Learn it. Live it. Blah, blah, blah.
BUDDY Well, whatya waitin' for? Get outta here!
Bonzo and Moonie turn to leave.
BUDDY Stop, stop! By the way...correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't want any confusion. If I'm not mistaken, I am the boss. Am I not mistaken?
Bonzo and Moonie, nodding affirmatively, switch gears and shake heads side to side.
BUDDY Good. And if in fact that's a fact, I reserve the right to make unreasonable demands. And as it turns out... (smiling) I have one...
Bonzo and Moonie roll their eyes.
BUDDY It's not so bad, I promise fellas. Okay, are you ready for it?
MOONIE Do we have a choice?
BUDDY (smiling) Of course not.
BONZO Well then, I guess we're ready.
BUDDY Good. Here goes: Bring me back the pitchfork. 
BUDDY You heard me correctly. Actually, it's a very simple request. The old man's a farmer, right? And so what do all farmers have in common?...Anyone?...  BONZO Cows?  BUDDY (deadpan) You're an idiot.  MOONIE (sheepishly) Pitchforks?  BUDDY Thaaat's right. Nice job, Mr. Moon. So, if that's the case, the old man's got to have one as well, and it's laying around down there somewhere. It's your job to find it. (sigh) I really couldn't give you an easier task, gents. Okay, let me spell it out for you one more time: First, straighten out the boy. Second, bring the pitchfork back here, to me. Even you two dim-wits can figure it out. Now why are you still hanging around here? I thought I told you to get out already!
MOONIE But, wha...
MOONIE A pitchfork?
BONZO He's a really old man.
MOONIE Well, what do we do now?
Bonzo and Moonie contemplate matters briefly.
BONZO Wait! I got it. I've got an idea. Follow me. I'll explain on the way...

'Get Off Of My Cloud' edit

The Rolling Stones | Charlie Watts

I live in an apartment on the ninety-ninth floor of my block
And I sit at home looking out the window imagining the world has stopped
Then in flies a guy who's all dressed up like a union jack And says, 'I've won five pounds if I have his kind of detergent pack'
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd on my cloud, baby
6-3 Closeup2.jpg
The telephone is ringing, I say, 'Hi, it's me. Who is it there on the line?'
A voice says, 'Hi, hello, how are you. Well, I guess I'm doin' fine.'
He says, 'It's three a.m., there's too much noise. Don't you people ever wanna go to bed?'
Just 'cause you feel so good, do you have to drive me out of my head?
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Don't hang around, baby, two's a crowd
BONZO I ain't positive, but I think the subject's ready.
Moonie affirms that and walks away.
BONZO Okay. Let's get started. Hit it!... 

'Won't Get Fooled Again' extended keyboard intro edit


TV ANNOUNCER (VO) Some call it the Rolls Royce of rhythm. Others proclaim it a paradigm of percussion. It's slick. It's sleek. It's everything you could want in a drum set - and more! From hand-hammered Turkish cymbals down to hand-sharpened Texas spurs, no other drum maker dares to compare. Even the late great Buddy Rich, himself, has given this wonder his most enthusiastic posthumous stamp of approval. Place an order today, and you can have this unforgettable collection of exquisitely crafted 10-ply rosewood shells and double-braced hardware home delivered at no extra charge! This is a limited time offer so you must act right away. Every Buddy's Rose Garden kit comes complete with timbales, timpani, temple blocks, wind chimes, crotales, bell tree, orchestra bells, tubular bells, MORE COWBELLS THAN THE COMPETITION!, a triangle, and a gong. But looking is not the same as listening. Let me introduce you to one of our associates who is going to regale us with a demonstration of this magnificent work of art!

'Won't Get Fooled Again' edit


Yayyyyyyyyyyyy! Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
(song ends)
MOONIE What just happened, mate? 
BONZO Uh, I think the fish just fell off the hook.
MOONIE Oh, noo! Nooo! This is terrible!
Moonie kicks over a cymbal stand.
BONZO Easy mate!
MOONIE No! No! No!
Moonie kicks and throws a different piece of the kit with each utterance...
MOONIE We'll never get our wing pins now. 
BONZO Moonie! Stop! Moonie!
MOONIE No! No! No!
BONZO Wait a minute. Wait! You're killing the drums! 
BONZO (excitedly) Wait! Moonie. You're a genius! Move over. Lemme help.
Ophie watches TV from bed as Vernon enters.
VERNON You ain't never gonna believe what just happened!
OPHIE What's that?
VERNON I 'bout fell for one of them infomercial deals. I tell ya', Ophie. I don't know what got into me. And you'll never guess what fer?
OPHIE Hmmm. Don't tell me. Let's new drum set?
VERNON How'd you kn...?
Ophie motions to TV.
BONZO And now for the savvy shopper, we bring you this snappy little number...

'Rock & Roll' end solo


OPHIE Oh, Vernon, that would be just perfect for Junior. He would love it!
VERNON Ophie, I'm exhausted, and I got about a million things to get done tomorrow, so let's please not stir up that hornets' nest again right now.
OPHIE You know what? When it's something important - like our child's well-being - it's never a good time for you.
Ophie looks at TV.
OPHIE Hey, hold on a second! Aren't you lookin' to replace that old pitchfork of yours?
VERNON I've thought about it some. What in tarnation makes you bring that up?
Ophie motions to TV.
TV ANNOUNCER (VO) ...and if you order 'Buddy's Rose Bud' today, we'll throw in a brand new...ish pitchfork at no extra cost! That's a complete starter kit for the low, low price of one-ninety-nine, ninety-nine plus a pitchfork that's just like new (mostly), absolutely free of charge! 555-DRUM. Call now!
VERNON Gimmick. Classic bait-and-switch, trust me. Waste of money all around.
VERNON Whataya writing down there?
She doesn't respond, so he turns off the TV and climbs into bed.
OPHIE You know, one of these days you're gonna have some serious regrets.
VERNON Goodnight, Ophie.
VERNON Ophie, lemme ask you something...
OPHIE What's that?
VERNON When'd we get a color TV?
OPHIE Goodnight, Vernon.
Junior's dream sequence includes happy flashbacks and drum hero appearances, but it devolves into a nightmare when Vernon pays an unconscious visit.

Medley Part I | 'The Spirit Of Radio' edit


Medley Part II | 'White Room' Intro


Medley Part III | 'Driven To Tears' edit


How can you say that you're not responsible? What does it have to do with me? What is my reaction, what should it be?
Confronted by this latest atrocity Driven to tears, driven to tears, driven to tears
(song ends)

'Heart Of The Sunrise/Yours Is No Disgrace' medley and edit


(song ends)  FADE TO:

'Time' edit (no drum intro)


Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Junior begins an impromptu apprenticeship with SLIM JIM PHANTOM.
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking And racing around to come up behind you again The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way The time is gone the song is over, thought I'd something more to say
Home, home again I like to be here when I can When I come home cold and tired It's good to warm my bones beside the fire 
Far away across the field The tolling of the iron bell Calls the faithful to their knees To hear the softly spoken magic spells 
(song ends)  FADE TO:

'Golden Slumbers'



Once there was a way to get back homeward Once there was a way to get back home Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby 
Golden slumbers fill your eyes Smiles await you when you rise Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby
Once there was a way to get back homeward Once there was a way to get back home Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby

'Carry That Weight'



Boy! You're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time Boy! You're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time
I never give you my pillow I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations I break down
Boy! You're going to carry that weight, carry that weight a long time Boy! You're going to carry that weight, carry that weight a long time

'The End'


Oh yeah! All right! Are you gonna be in my dreams tonight?
Utilizing various household items, all the featured drummers take their turn on air-guitar, with Moonie rounding things out Townshend-style.
And in the end The love you take 
Is equal to the love you make
(song ends)  FADE TO:
Remember to play after every storm.
— Mattie Stepanek

~ Branes are delicious ~