Crab Nebula.jpg
NGC 3324.jpg
Tarantula.jpg
Crab Nebula.jpg

BraneStorms


BraneStorms

for the future . . .

SCROLL DOWN

BraneStorms


BraneStorms

for the future . . .

 
 
If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm.
— Frank Lane
 
NGC 3324.jpg

Weather or Not?


Weather or Not?

Forecast: Scattered BraneFreeze

Weather or Not?


Weather or Not?

Forecast: Scattered BraneFreeze

BranePedia

 

BraneFreeze

[breyn-freez]

noun

Analysis paralysis, writer's block . . . and uh . . . what's the third one? . . . I can't . . . sorry . . .

“Oops.”

 

vs.

 

BraneWaves

[breyn-weyvz]

noun

The ‘narliest hang-tinfoil epicosity imaginable.

“Huh, huh, these are BraneWaves, bruh. Lose the board and use your noodle instead.

Huh, huh.”


 
 
 
I think, therefore I am . . . I think.
— George Carlin
 
Tarantula.jpg

Surf's Up!


Surf's Up!

That's a good sine

Surf's Up!


Surf's Up!

That's a good sine


ATTACK OF THE WIENER MAN

OFFICIAL ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO | HERE COME THE MUMMIES

Get ready for the world’s longest dick joke!


EL PASO

(UN)OFFICIAL ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO | Marty Robbins

Don’t ask me why, I just feel like doing it!


alien_appendage.jpg

A L I E N A P P E N D A G E

ANIMATED muppet parody

Kermit gets stiff-armed, Miss Piggy gets even


The Cymbals of Love

ANIMATED movie | Various Artists

Drums and a dream, and a heavenly scheme


 
 

Attention all drummers (guitarists too!)

How would you like to see a movie starring John Bonham and Keith Moon as guardian angels dispatched from Heaven by the "Drum God" Buddy Rich himself?

You would? I knew it! Me too! And that's why I wrote the script for it!

Join Bonzo and Moonie, and an inspiring cast of everyone's favorite drum heroes, on their quest to fulfill a youngster's drumming destiny.

Enjoy the ride!

Bobby

 
 

© Bobby's Brane for script, title logo, and illustrations | illustrations by Kelly Moriarity

Music soundtrack is available upon request

 

THE CYMBALS OF LOVE

script by

Bobby's Brane

 
FADE IN:

EXT. PARTLY CLOUDY SKY - DAY

OPENING TEXT:

I played my drum for him
I played my best for him
   Pa rum pum pum pum

PAN DOWN:

EXT. FARM - DAY

A colorful butterfly flutters into view, progressing toward a colorless landscape moments before a rickety old tractor CLATTERS by, seemingly in hot pursuit.

♫ 'Get Rhythm' edit ♫

Johnny Cash

♫ Hey get rhythm when you get the blues

Come on get rhythm when you get the blues

Get a rock n' roll feelin' in your bones

Put taps on your toes and get gone

Get rhythm when you get the blue ♫

A middle-aged, midwestern farmer mans the helm, and VERNON is his name. The gap between insect and machine steadily narrows until the radiator fan inhales the delicate creature, ejecting colorful confetti with an audible B-R-R-R-R-R-R-T! Vernon doesn't appear to notice, or maybe just doesn't care.

♫ A little shoeshine boy he never get slowed down

But he's got the dirtiest job in town

Bendin' low at the people's feet

On a windy corner of a dirty street

When I ask him while he shines my shoes

How'd he keep from getting' the blues

He grinned as he raised his little head

He popped his shoeshine rag and then he said ♫


He continues onward, traversing the field, then passes by an old beat-up pitchfork on the way into his barn.

♫ Get rhythm when you get the blues

Come on get rhythm when you get the blues

A jumpy rhythm makes you feel so fine

It'll shake all your troubles from your worried mind

Get rhythm when you get the blues ♫


DISSOLVE TO:
INT. FARMHOUSE KITCHEN - DAY 
Vernon's wife OPHIE is busy keeping the household in order. She turns up the volume on the kitchen radio and returns to her many chores, dancing about and occasionally smiling down at her baby boy JUNIOR as he merrily patters away on the pots and pans arrayed on the kitchen floor.

♫ Get rhythm when you get the blues

Come on get rhythm when you get the blues

It only costs a dime just a nickel a shoe

It does a million dollars worth of good for you

Get rhythm when you get the blues ♫

♫ (song ends) ♫

Ophie switches off the radio then reaches for a pair of wooden mixing spoons. 
 
OPHIE
Are you Mama's little drummer boy? Yes you are! Here you go. Why don't you try it now with these. Okay, you just enjoy your little self. Mama's gonna be right back!
 
Ophie exits the kitchen giving Junior a chance to experiment freely. Tapping here and there he makes his way awkwardly around the assorted cookware.
After turning in a sad performance of fits and starts and fumbled spoons, his frustration mounts with every setback.
Before an epic meltdown can take hold something catches the boy's attention. In between sniffles and snorts he detects a deep and muffled rhythmic pattern emanating from the radio.

♫ 'Hot For Teacher' intro and edit ♫

Van Halen | Alex Van Halen

The pattern builds in volume and then repeats, building and repeating, over and over.
The radio morphs into a stack of speakers! The stack morphs into a mountain! The mountain EXPLODES with ALEX VAN HALEN emerging from the fiery debris!
At the song's guitar break Alex unveils a pair of wooden mixing spoons, flipping them with a grin, revealing butt ends erupting into flames.
He launches back into the song.
♫ (song ends) ♫

Everything: Alex, drums, flames, debris, etc., reverse-morphs back into the radio.
Revelation! Epiphany! Breakthrough! Junior inverts the spoons, fixes his grip, and can tell an immediate difference. That's it! That's how it's supposed to feel!
He readies himself and takes a deep breath before launching into his own spirited pots and pans solo.
Concluding with a flourish, Junior twirls a spoon and flings it skyward, where it hangs briefly before tumbling down, rebounding off the floor at his parents' feet.
 
JUNIOR (gleeful)
Boom, boom!
OPHIE
Oh, Vernon! Can you believe it?
VERNON
Mmm, mmm. I sure hope he doesn't think...he's gonna become one of those. 
OPHIE
One of those whats, exactly?
VERNON
Ophie, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
OPHIE
Well, I don't think he needs to become anything at all. It's obvious to me he's a natural. A natural born dru...
VERNON
Don't!...even say the word, Ophie. You'll give the boy ideas. Now look, I'm serious as a cyclone about this. All that bangin' around nonsense has got to end. It's got to end right now. Right here and right now!
 
Vernon reaches down and yanks the remaining spoon from Junior's grasp and picks up the other one from the floor. The boy WAILS as Vernon waves the spoons at Ophie.
 
VERNON
And that...will be the end of that.
OPHIE
Uh uh, Vernon. You saw what just happened. He's got talent, that boy does!
VERNON
Now, Ophie. That's the last I want to hear about it. The world has got more than enough starving musicians. We're not about to add another one to the list.
OPHIE
I can't believe this! He ain't even two yet, and you already got him beggin' for handouts like some kind of hobo...or...or...gypsy!
VERNON
Don't be so dang dramatic. I'm only being realistic. 
 
 
OPHIE
Oh, please! I don't think I've ever seen him so happy before.
 
Junior WAILS even louder.
 
OPHIE
Well, not right this instant, obviously. But he was! Just a minute ago! Right up until the moment you ruined it for him, he was the happiest baby I think I ever saw. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he made something like this his...his...his dream!
VERNON
His what? Seriously? Let me tell you something, darling. This crazy notion about 'having a dream'? It ain't a real thing. Dreams only happen when you got your eyes closed, you understand? Once you open 'em back up again...honey, dream-time is over!
OPHIE
But, Vernon...
VERNON
But, nothing! That boy needs to learn about the harsh realities of life as soon as prac-tic-able. And that means right now! You hear me?! And so right now, lesson number one is going to be...
(sarcastically to Ophie)
Umm, how 'bout givin' me a little drum roll for this.
OPHIE
Vernon!
VERNON
Never mind that. Here goes...you payin' attention boy? Okay, here I go... 
(clears throat)
Life...is...unfair. Got it? Good. Now leave them dreams inside fairy tales where they belong. I got work to do.
 
Vernon hurls the spoons into the sink on his way out. The back door SLAMS.
Ophie turns and looks down at her baby boy.
 
OPHIE
Oh, don't cry darling. Mama's here. Everything's gonna be all right.
 
She fetches the spoons from the sink.
 
OPHIE
Here you go. You just follow your little heart now and forget about all that fussin', okay. If you want to bang around on old pots and pans, well, you just go right on ahead and do it, I say. Now go on and play your mama a pretty song.
 
FADE TO:
EXT. THE HEAVENS - DAY
JOHN "BONZO" BONHAM floats serenely about, strumming on a harp.

♫ 'Bron-Yr-Aur' edit ♫

Led Zeppelin

Lost in song, Bonzo drifts down to the Pearly gates where KEITH "MOONIE" MOON awaits.
♫ (song ends) ♫

 
MOONIE
Wwwoooww! That's fantastic, mate!
BONZO (startled)
Oh, 'ello Moonie! Didn't see you there. You really think it sounds okay?
 
 
MOONIE 
Oh, yeahhhh!
BONZO
Yeah? Well, I gotta tell ya', I've been practicing my wings off.
MOONIE (mock pride, wiping his eyes)
Uh, huh. And now look at you. My boy, my boy. I think I'm gonna cry.
BONZO
Knock it off. This was your idea, you know, for us to learn how to play these goofy things. Which begs the question: How's your new vocation coming along?
MOONIE
My what? Hey, wait a minute! There's no vacations in Heaven!
BONZO
Not vacation you numbskull - vocation! You know. It's like...uh...a hobby. How's it going for you?
MOONIE (holding up harp)
Oh, you mean this? Oh, Lordie! Don't ask. I really stink.
BONZO
Heh, heh, heh...
MOONIE
No, I mean it, Bon Bon. Thpppppppp. The pits, mate.
BONZO
Nooohhhh!
MOONIE
Yeahhhhh!
 
They share a laugh as Moonie strums an out-of-tune chord. In the background, big band drumming begins.
 
BONZO
Whoa. There's the bossman now. I guess you got his call too?
MOONIE
That, I did. And jeez was he bossier than usual. He started off the conversation by yelling at me for a bit. And then he says, "Oh, and about tomorrow? Make sure you get your keisters here by 9 AM...sharp!" 
BONZO
Heh, heh, heh. That's a pretty good impression you got there. Maybe that should be your new vocation.
 
Bonzo looks down at the time.
 
BONZO
Uh, oh. And right now it's 9 AM...flat. We better get movin'.
 
Bonzo reaches for the intercom. Instantly, the background drumming stops.
 
BUDDY "THE DRUM GOD" RICH (over the intercom)
You're late!
MOONIE
See what I mean?
BONZO
Yeah, you weren't kidding.
BUDDY
Well...What are you two dummies waiting for? Get in here!
 
The intercom BUZZES, and the gates open. Bonzo and Moonie enter. The gates SLAM shut. 
INT. BUDDY'S "OFFICE" - DAY
Bonzo and Moonie enter with halos in hand and approach BUDDY seated behind his "desk".
 
BUDDY
Please. Have a seat, boys.
 
Buddy claps twice and two drum thrones pop up from the cloud. Bonzo and Moonie sit. Buddy smiles, then spots one of the harps.
 
BUDDY
What the devil is that?
MOONIE
What's what, boss?
BUDDY
That. And that! Are those guitars?
BONZO
Mmmm...not really.
BUDDY
Close enough! Get rid of 'em!
MOONIE
Aw jeez boss. It's no big deal. We swear!
BUDDY
No big deal? And swearing too!
 
Buddy stands up and claps twice, sending his drums down through the cloud followed by DISTANT CRASHING and SCREAMING.
 
BUDDY
Haven't I taught you knuckleheads anything up here? Don't you remember anything I've told you?
BUDDY (clears throat)
We, dedicated members of the rhythmic community, comprise the foundation that supports the entire musical edifice. Now granted, guitar players get most of the credit (and all the dames for that matter.) But even they know who to truly thank (though they'd never admit it.) We must rejoice in our collective anonynomini...ahh, forget it. Where was I...oh, yeah...so, we must remain satisfied with the tacit understanding of our indispensability. We...
BONZO
Yeah, we already know those things, boss.
BUDDY
Do ya' now, John Boy?
BUDDY (seizes the harps)
Somebody oughta outlaw these things!
 
Buddy tosses them off the cloud followed by distant CLANGING and SCREAMING.
 
BONZO and MOONIE
Heeeeey!
BUDDY (clapping hands)
Now that that's been taken care of, let's get down to business. Let's see...where do I begin...ah, yes, your next assignment.
 
The angels' faces drop.
 
BUDDY
Why so glum fellas? Did I neglect to mention that your next assignment will also be...your last assignment?
BONZO
Come on, boss. You can't be serious? Our last one? Forever?
MOONIE
And ever?
BUDDY (smiling)
Amen.
BONZO
You're kidding, right?
BUDDY
I wish I were gentlemen. Nope. You've almost made it, and if you manage to pull this off, you're golden. Of course, that depends upon your ability to actually accomplish this one simple task - with no screw ups! If you two can manage to do that, you'll have finally earned...
 
Buddy retrieves and flashes two solid gold wing pendants.
 
BUDDY
...your wing pins
BONZO and MOONIE
Ohhhhhh! Yessss! Yes!
 
Bonzo and Moonie exchange fake punches and high-fives.
 
BUDDY
Okay, okay. Settle down. Now. Listen up. Here are the basics: There's a kid down there who's lost his way and needs a little help finding it again. It turns out that what he needs is just the kind of thing we specialize in. Now, make yourselves comfortable. I want you to watch a little presentation that should make the issue at hand crystal clear. Afterward, feel free to ask any, uh...intelligent questions.
 
Buddy claps twice and a projector and screen pop up from the cloud.
 
MOONIE
Oooo, a movie! I just love movies! Can we make popcorn?
BUDDY
Shut up! And pay attention!
 
Buddy claps twice again. The sky turns dark and threatening, and the projector CLACKS to life...

♫ 'It's Gonna Get Better' ♫

Genesis | Phil Collins

Montage of key events in young Junior’s turbulent life are cut together with closeups of PHIL COLLINS' performance.
1-16 Closeup.jpg

♫ Reach out, hands in the air, don't care ♫

♫ Just what they're saying ♫

♫ Hold out, just keep on hoping against hope

It's gonna get better ♫

♫ Don't worry, there's no hurry for you

For me everything's gonna come around

Shout out, someone will listen to you, to me ♫

♫ Someone's gonna see ♫

♫ He calls me over, calls me brother and I know...

SNARE CRACK! ♫

♫ Always fighting and moonlighting, it never ends...

SNARE CRACK! ♫

♫ In the city, if you're all alone ♫

♫ There's a sister and she's standing next to her man...

SNARE CRACK! ♫

♫ In the darkness you feel the sharpness of steel ♫

♫ And it's always there...

SNARE CRACK! ♫

♫ In the city, if you're all alone ♫

♫ Reach out, hands in the air,

Don't care just what they're saying ♫

♫ Hold out, just keep on hoping against hope

It's gonna get better

Don't worry, there's no hurry for you

For me everything's gonna come around ♫

11-2 Closer.jpg

♫ Shout out, someone will listen to you, to me

Someone's gonna see ♫


The poster hung before him reveals Junior’s naive ambition: a real life "Buddy's Rose Garden" drum kit to call his own, the attainability of which seems more and more remote with every passing day.

♫ If it's gonna get better, it starts with a feeling

If it's gonna get better, it's gonna take time

If it's gonna get better, we've gotta start now ♫

For the time being, the youngster makes do with improvisation and fantasy.

♫ Cause I know everybody can feel it

And I know everybody will see it

Cause it shows, and that shows I'm not dreaming ♫

♫ Cause you know, I know, it's time for a change ♫

Alas, even those modest ambitions are thwarted in the end.
♫ (song ends) ♫

The movie finishes and the sky brightens.
 
BUDDY
Well, whataya think gentlemen?
BONZO
I think I'm gonna kill that old bugger.
MOONIE
Yeah, he's dead.
BUDDY
Settle down. Nobody's dying. Well...not yet at any rate.
 
Buddy claps twice and the projector and screen fall back thru the clouds, following by DISTANT CRASHING and SCREAMING.
 
BUDDY
You see fellas, nothing makes me happier than watching a youngster discover his percussive potential. That kid has got it, in spades. Now, I don't know who on Earth authorized the use of my likeness, but you gotta admit...that's one handsome drum set he's wishing for. But, as you can see, there's a minor obstacle in the way...the old fart in overalls.
MOONIE
Heh, heh, let me guess, boss. You want us to 'persuade' dear old dad to have a change of heart, right?
BONZO (with relish)
Sure, boss. Accidents happen all the time on farms: People fall out of barns and bust their kneecaps. Arms get caught in threshers.
 
Moonie nods enthusiastically.
 
BUDDY
No...Nooo! Do you see this?
(yanks halo)
Do you see these?
(yanks wings)
You can't do that anymore! You're representing something bigger than yourselves now. Look, don't screw this up! I want this situation rectified, and as long as you don't coerce, blackmail, intimidate, or violate dad...Mr. Moon...you're free to use whatever means at your disposal. This is important! That kid has found his voice, and it's the beat of a familiar drummer. And right now he needs a guardian angel, sooo...I'm gonna give him two for the price of one. Do we have an understanding?
 
 
MOONIE (saluting Benny Hill-style)
Aye, aye, captain!
BONZO (like a pirate)
Arrrrrrgh! 
BUDDY (deadpan)
Okay, here's the dossier containing all the boring details. Learn it. Live it. Blah, blah, blah.
BUDDY
Well, whatya waitin' for? Get outta here!
 
Bonzo and Moonie turn to leave.
 
BUDDY
Stop, stop! By the way...correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't want any confusion. If I'm not mistaken, I am the boss. Am I not mistaken?
 
Bonzo and Moonie nod affirmatively, then shake heads side to side, then nod and shake their heads out of sync.
 
BUDDY
Good. And if in fact that's a fact, I reserve the right to make unreasonable demands. And as it turns out...
(smiling)
I have one...
 
Bonzo and Moonie roll their eyes.
 
BUDDY
It's not so bad, I promise fellas. Okay, are you ready for it?
MOONIE
Do we have a choice?
BUDDY (smiling)
Of course not.
BONZO
Well then, I guess we're ready.
BUDDY 
Good. Here goes: bring back the pitchfork. To me.
BONZO and MOONIE
Huh?
BUDDY
You heard me correctly. Actually, it's a very simple request. The old man's a farmer, right? And so what do all farmers have in common?...Anyone?...
BONZO
Cows?
BUDDY (deadpan)
You're an idiot.
MOONIE (sheepishly)
Pitchforks?
BUDDY
Thaaat's right. Nice job, Mr. Moon.
 
Moonie smiles smugly at Bonzo.
 
BUDDY
So, if that's the case, the old man's got to have one as well, and that means it's laying around down there somewhere. It's your job to find it.
(sigh)
I really couldn't give you an easier task, gents. Okay, let me spell it out for you one more time: First, straighten out the boy. Second, bring me back the pitchfork. Even you two dim-wits can figure it out. Now why are you still hanging around here? I thought I told you to get out already!
MOONIE
But, wha...
BUDDY
Out!
 
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE PEARLY GATES - DAY
 
MOONIE
A pitchfork?
BONZO
He's a really old man.
BUDDY (over intercom)
I heard that!
 
The angels turn and shrug at each other and prepare to fly away.
 
MOONIE (as they fly off)
If he's so old, why's his hearing so good?
BUDDY (over intercom way behind them)
I heard that too!
BONZO (replying to Moonie)
Hmm? Did you say something?
MOONIE (exasperated)
Nevermind. Well, what do we do now? We have to get those wing pins!
 
Bonzo and Moonie pause mid-flight to contemplate matters.
 
BONZO
Wait! I got it. I've got an idea. Follow me. I'll explain on the way...
 

♫ 'Get Off Of My Cloud' edit ♫

The Rolling Stones | Charlie Watts

Montage of Bonzo and Moonie heading to town and "shopping" after hours at various retailers for new duds and drums in order to carry out Bonzo’s plan. Meanwhile, CHARLIE WATTS lays down the groove from on high.

♫ I live in an apartment on the ninety-ninth floor of my block ♫

♫ And I sit at home looking out the window imagining the world has stopped ♫

♫ Then in flies a guy who's all dressed up like a union jack

And says, 'I've won five pounds if I have his kind of detergent pack' ♫

♫ Hey! You! Get off of my cloud

Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd on my cloud, baby ♫

6-3 Closeup2.jpg

♫ The telephone is ringing, I say, “Hi, it's me.

Who is it there on the line?” ♫

♫ A voice says, “Hi, hello, how are you.

Well, I guess I'm doin' fine.” ♫

♫ He says, 'It's three a.m., there's too much noise.

Don't you people ever wanna go to bed?' ♫

♫ Just 'cause you feel so good, do you have to drive me out of my head? ♫

♫ Hey! You! Get off of my cloud ♫

♫ Don't hang around, baby, two's a crowd ♫

♫ (song ends) ♫

FADE TO:
INT. FARMHOUSE - STORMY NIGHT
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - STORMY NIGHT
 
BONZO (softly)
I ain't positive, but I think the subject's ready.
 
Moonie affirms this and walks away.
 
BONZO
Okay. Let's get started. Hit it!... 
 

♫ 'Won't Get Fooled Again' extended keyboard intro edit ♫

THE WHO


 
TV ANNOUNCER (VO)
Some call it the Rolls Royce of rhythm. Others proclaim it a paradigm of percussion. It's slick. It's sleek. It's everything you could want in a drum set - and more! From hand-hammered Turkish cymbals down to hand-sharpened Texas spurs, no other drum-maker dares to compare. Even the late great Buddy Rich, himself, has given this wonder his most enthusiastic posthumous stamp of approval. Place an order today, and you can have this unforgettable collection of exquisitely crafted 10-ply rosewood shells and double-braced hardware home delivered at no extra charge! This is a limited time offer so you must act right away. Every Buddy's Rose Garden kit comes complete with timbales, timpani, temple blocks, wind chimes, crotales, bell tree, orchestra bells, tubular bells, MORE COWBELLS THAN THE COMPETITION!, a triangle, and a gong. But looking is not the same as listening. Let me introduce you to one of our associates who is going to regale us with a demonstration of this magnificent work of art!
 

Moonie rolls in on the toms, then brings in the snare and the rest, rounding it out with a resounding CRASH!

♫ Yayyyyyyyyyyyy! Meet the new boss, same as the old boss ♫

♫ (song ends) ♫

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - STORMY NIGHT
 
MOONIE
What just happened, mate?
BONZO
Uh, I think the fish just fell off the hook.
MOONIE
Oh, noo! Nooo! This is terrible!
 
Moonie kicks over a cymbal stand.
 
BONZO
Easy mate!
MOONIE
No! No! No!
 
Moonie kicks and throws a different piece of the kit with each utterance...
 
MOONIE
We'll never get our wing pins now.
BONZO
Moonie! Stop! Moonie!
MOONIE
No! No! No!
BONZO
Wait a minute. Wait! You're killing the drums!
BONZO (excitedly)
Wait! Moonie. You're a genius! Move over. Lemme help.
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - STORMY NIGHT
Ophie watches TV from bed as Vernon enters.
 
VERNON
You ain't never gonna believe what just happened!
OPHIE
What's that?
VERNON
I 'bout fell for one of them infomercial deals. I tell ya', Ophie. I don't know what got into me. And you'll never guess what fer?
OPHIE
Hmmm. Don't tell me. Let me guess. Let's see...um...was it for a new drum set?
VERNON
How'd you kn...?
 
Ophie motions to TV.
 
BONZO
And now for the savvy shopper, we bring you this snappy little number...
 

♫ 'Rock & Roll' end solo ♫

LED ZEPPELIN | JOHN 'BONZO' BONHAM


Ophie is left dazzled when Bonzo's demonstration incorporates the entire abbreviated kit in a flash.
 
OPHIE
Oh, Vernon, that would be perfect for Junior. He would just love it!
VERNON
Ophie, I'm exhausted, and I got about a million things to get done tomorrow, so let's please not stir up that hornets' nest again right now.
OPHIE
You know what? When it's something important - like our child's well-being - it's never a good time for you.
 
Ophie looks at TV.
 
OPHIE
Hey, hold on a second! Aren't you lookin' to replace that old pitchfork of yours?
VERNON
I've thought about it some. What in tarnation makes you bring that up?
 
Ophie motions to TV.
 
TV ANNOUNCER (VO)
...and if you order 'Buddy's Rose Bud' today, we'll throw in a brand new...
BONZO (off-camera)
Ish!
TV ANNOUNCER (VO)
...pitchfork at no extra cost! That's a complete starter drum kit for the low, low price of one-ninety-nine, ninety-nine, plus a pitchfork that's just like new...
MOONIE (off-camera)
Mostly!
TV ANNOUNCER (VO)
...absolutely free of charge! 555-DRUM. Call now!
VERNON
Gimmick. Classic bait-and-switch, trust me. Waste of money all around.
 
 
VERNON
Whataya writing down there?
 
She doesn't respond, so he turns off the TV and climbs into bed.
 
OPHIE
You know, one of these days you're gonna have some serious regrets I tell ya'.
VERNON
Goodnight, Ophie.
VERNON
Ophie, lemme ask you something...
OPHIE
What's that?
VERNON
When'd we get a color TV?
OPHIE
Goodnight, Vernon.
 
FADE TO: 
INT. JUNIOR'S BEDROOM - STORMY NIGHT
Junior's dream sequence includes happy flashbacks and drum hero appearances, but it devolves into a nightmare when Vernon pays an unconscious visit.

♫ Medley Part I | 'The Spirit Of Radio' edit ♫

RUSH | NEIL PEARt


♫ Medley Part II | 'White Room' Intro ♫

CREAM | GINGER BAKEr


♫ Medley Part III | 'Driven To Tears' edit ♫

THE POLICE | STEWART COPELANd

♫ How can you say that you're not responsible?

What does it have to do with me?

What is my reaction, what should it be? ♫

Jolted awake with newfound purpose, Junior realizes his destiny resides elsewhere, and determines to meet the challenge. After hastily jotting a farewell note and gathering up a few essentials, he prepares to depart for lands unknown.

♫ Confronted by this latest atrocity

Driven to tears, driven to tears, driven to tears ♫

♫ (song ends) ♫

FADE TO:
EXT. TELEVISION STUDIO - STORMY NIGHT

♫ 'Heart Of The Sunrise/Yours Is No Disgrace' medley and edit ♫

YES | BILL BRUFORD


Bonzo and Moonie run into a snag after their broadcast and have to make a run for it.
INTERCUT WITH JUNIOR ON BICYCLE STARTING HIS JOURNEY.
♫ (song ends) ♫

FADE TO:

EXT. “THE BIG CITY” - SUNRISE

♫ 'Time' edit (no drum intro) ♫

PINK FLOYD | NICK MASON

♫ Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day ♫

Junior lucks into an impromptu apprenticeship with SLIM JIM PHANTOM.

♫ You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way ♫


Montage of Junior's "big city" adventure intercut with Vernon and Ophie's desperate search for their boy.

♫ Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun ♫

Vernon wrestles with his own broken dreams as he contemplates his own boy's ambitions.

♫ And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death ♫

♫ Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time

Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

The time is gone the song is over, thought I'd something more to say ♫

♫ Home, home again

I like to be here when I can

When I come home cold and tired

It's good to warm my bones beside the fire ♫


Vernon's and Ophie's faces are fully revealed for the first time by way of parody. Sadly, it also advertises Vernon's same old pitchfork.

♫ Far away across the field

The tolling of the iron bell

Calls the faithful to their knees

To hear the softly spoken magic spells ♫

♫ (song ends) ♫

FADE TO:

INT. JUNIOR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

♫ 'Golden Slumbers' ♫

THE BEATLES | RINGO STARR


♫ Once there was a way to get back homeward

Once there was a way to get back home

Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby ♫

♫ Golden slumbers fill your eyes

Smiles await you when you rise

Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby ♫

♫ Once there was a way to get back homeward

Once there was a way to get back home

Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby ♫


FADE TO:
INT. JUNIOR’S BEDROOM - SUNRISE
After groggily wiping the sleep away, Junior sits up and from across the room is reminded of his disappointment...

♫ 'Carry That Weight' ♫

THE BEATLES | RINGO STARR


♫ Boy! You're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time

Boy! You're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time ♫


He angrily climbs out of bed and tears the poster down, then hastily stuffs it into the trash can.

♫ I never give you my pillow

I only send you my invitations ♫


Junior jumps back under the covers just as Vernon pokes his head into the room, bearing a scrapbook filled with old clippings and memories.
Chapter 11-3.jpg

♫ And in the middle of the celebrations I break down ♫


Vernon sits down with Junior and begins to share his own painful past with him, including his early baseball heroics, and subsequent dream-dashing heartache. At some point he recognizes the poster stuffed in the trash instead of where it belongs and freezes mid-sentence. He bows his head briefly, then slowly rises up.

♫ Boy! You're going to carry that weight, carry that weight a long time

Boy! You're going to carry that weight, carry that weight a long time ♫


Vernon ambles over and carefully retrieves it, flattens it out, and replaces it on the wall. He turns to Junior, smiles, and waves him closer, indicating that he wishes to lead him from the room.
SMASH CUT:

♫ 'The End' ♫

THE BEATLES | RINGO STARR

♫ Oh yeah! All right!

Are you gonna be in my dreams tonight? ♫

11-6-Dark.jpg
MATCH CUT TO:
Utilizing various household and sports-related items, all the featured drummers take their turn on air-guitar... 
Moonie rounds things out Townshend-style on a familiar old pitchfork.

♫ And in the end

The love you take ♫

11-10.jpg

♫ Is equal to the love you make ♫

♫ (song ends) ♫

♫ The Wizard of Oz | 'End Title' ♫

Herbert Stothart


DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE HEAVENS - DAY

ENDING TEXT:

Then he smiled at me
 Pa rum pum pum pum
   Me and my drum
PAN DOWN:
♫ (song ends) ♫

THE END
 
 
Remember to play after every storm.
— Mattie Stepanek
 
 

~ Branes are delicious ~